All metalheads are assholes

I should know. Metalheads are just pricks through and through, and there’s no reason anyone would ever want to hang out with one. I just hate them so much. Look at this loser, for example.

Not only does the kid show himself to be an utter toolbag and a poser by flipping off the camera, he then proceeds to play a solo on his way-too-expensive guitar, which I know he didn’t buy himself, while his mom walks by in the background carrying his laundry. Sigh. Why can’t he be more like the guy in this next vid, who just oozes panache as he smokes a more technically impressive solo and then simply shuts off the camera?

In all actuality, I find that most metalheads are like the latter examples in this post, but it can be quite fun to indulge in negative stereotypes from time to time. Here’s a drummer playing the entire song “An Autopy” by The Faceless, the same song the kid in the first video lifted the solo from. I should note that the video is tagged with “fastest kid 5th grade,” which kind of scares the hell out of me, seeing as the dude has a beard. But I guess maybe he was held back because he wasn’t doing his chemistry homework for some reason.

One more. Here’s a vid of a guy blowing through “An Autopsy” on guitar and having some real fun while doing it. He’s not serious about it, though he obviously loves it, and jokes around by poorly pantomiming the keyboard fills.

Here’s to classy metalheads.