So, I hated I Am Legend

I tried hard to like this movie. Will Smith seems to be playing more serious roles lately, a trend something I very much respect after seeing what Jim Carrey is capable of when he straightens out. I knew indirectly what the film was about, and was very intrigued by the theatrical trailers which revealed absolutely nothing of the plot. Unlike trailers for that junk Cloverfield, which pretend that having a movie that doesn’t make sense is appealing, a la Blair Witch, the trailers for I Am Legend didn’t even clue you in on the fact that it was a zombie flick. Very stylish.

Also, I absolutely loved the dog in this movie. My mother has two German shepherds, and I’m quite a sucker for how expressively they can conduct themselves. They’re bright animals, and it’s usually quite obvious.

OK, so not all of them look bright enough to make it into the movies, but still, they’re neat animals. Trust me on this one. And the dog in the movie enjoyed the all-important role of keeping Will Smith’s character sane. I really liked that an animal was given a role of making or breaking a person’s mental wellbeing, as I’m sick of hearing “but it’s just a [dog/cat/I have no soul and cannot fathom having an emotional relationship with an animal]” when discussing the film with norms.

I sat riveted through the better half of the film, salivating over the gradual pace. The protagonist had to hunt food, prepare meals, bathe his dog, and work out. This lulled the viewer into complacency before the horror elements of the film were revealed, and presumably foreshadowed the protagonist’s struggle with maintaining sanity.

The film collapsed at about the 70% mark, and dashed away all my hopes of bearing witness to a turning point in Hollywood theater. I was puzzled by some of the writing decisions, as the actions of Will Smith’s character rapidly became inconsistent with his behavior earlier in the film. Not only did his behavior change according to what might be reasonably expected, it was also contrary to what was foreshadowed—presumably deliberately. I couldn’t understand it.

Then I spoke with some friends who are much nerdier than I, and found out why the last third of the movie felt so artificial.

FREAKING SPOILERS, DUDE

I did some research and found an explication of the ways the movie differed from the book. It’s difficult to find imagery to express how greatly the two differed. It’s as if the movie suspected it saw the book approaching on the horizon, then ran in the other direction and jumped off a cliff.

What I cannot piece together is how the studio execs thought the film would make more money if they radically altered the script, throwing in some “I love God!” moments and removing the absolutely unforgettable twist ending. If the original script for some reason wouldn’t be noteworthy enough in itself for generating a buzz around the film (and consequently high box office revenue), the fact that it wasn’t hacked to bits by Hollywood catering to some fictitious lowest common denominator would have been.

What a damn shame. Give me my Viking movies.