I think I will name my child “Yeah Detroit”

In case you need a reason to review how damn lucky you are, read the following.

A New Zealand judge has made a 9-year-old girl a ward of the court so that her name can be changed from Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii, the country’s national news agency reported Thursday.

I just don’t know what to do about that. I’ve raised my eyebrows and exhaled through pursed lips, I’ve looked off into the distance and shook my head violently in waking from reverie.

I love America.

Further insults to deceny include:

The Registrar General of Births, Deaths and Marriages said in a statement that it had rejected names including Fish and Chips, Yeah Detroit, Stallion, Twisty Poi — a staple food in Polynesian cuisine — and Sex Fruit.

That’s right, someone has already given “Yeah Detroit” a go. They may have failed, but I shall stand tall on the shoulders of visionary giants.

I have a dream, America.

What’s really frightening, though, is that my mother sent me this article in an e-mail with the subject line “I feel so uncreative.”