I listen to metal because I drink and drive. Wait, what?

A while back, I posted about an article in a major news outlet that attempted to draw a correlation between listening to metal and being smarter than normal. It generated a sizable debate among individuals who are all smarter than normal, and few of whom enjoy metal.

I liked the article, despite its failings to disclose much about the dataset and investigate methodological flaws, because it offered an opinion on metal listening habits other than “metalheads are social scum.” Today, however, I found another article. I honestly wonder whether any research was performed at all, so closely does it adhere to stereotypes.

She said an Australian study of year 10 students had shown significant associations between heavy metal music and suicidal tendencies, depression, delinquency and drug-taking.

An American study had also shown that young adults who regularly listened to heavy metal had a higher preoccupation with suicide and higher levels of depression than their peers.

Who paid to have this written? It’s quite clearly cherry-picking. And lest you think I’m objecting to this article because my genre of choice is being presented in a less than favorable way, take a look at the aggregate findings.

WHAT STUDIES SAY ABOUT YOUR SOUNDS:

POP: Conformists, overly responsible, role-conscious, struggling with sexuality or peer acceptance.

HEAVY METAL: Higher levels of suicidal ideation, depression, drug use, self-harm, shoplifting, vandalism, unprotected sex.

DANCE: Higher levels of drug use regardless of socio-economic background.

JAZZ/RHYTHM & BLUES: Introverted misfits, loners.

RAP: Higher levels of theft, violence, anger, street gang membership, drug use and misogyny.

What stuns me about this is that the article author (or the researchers performing the study, but right now I’m blaming shoddy journalism) is clearly looking only for negative associations. What the hell is “overly responsible”?

The Dance category is particularly incendiary in that it implies that only poor people do drugs—unless the rich person listens to Dance music, in which case they don’t belong.

I really hope the article is substantially misrepresented by the media coverage. Maybe I’ll put in a request at my library to get access to the paper, and I’ll see for myself which party is at fault. I must admit, though, that part of me hopes that it’s not the journalist, because on some level I’m really looking forward to when l I get tenure and can jack off like this and call it research.


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