MetalSucks.net is the greatest publication humanity has to offer

The metal blog world is a dark and lame place. I won’t even link to Blabbermouth; the commenters there bested only by YouTubers in terms of heart-wrenching hebetude. Sure, Invisible Oranges has the best title imaginable—and I do believe that 90% of having a decent website is the URL (yes, I fail that test)—but it’s an MP3 blog and doesn’t talk too much about the culture of the metal world.

Enter MetalSucks, by far the wittiest and most censorious metal publication around. Why do I love them so much? First, they turned me onto Metal Inquisition. I discovered Protest The Hero through MetalSucks. And finally, they give me free shit.

We asked you to come up with BBQ-related puns of metal bands, albums or songs, and you delivered. So much so that we had a damn hard time choosing just 1 winner! I wish I could hug all of you, but this is not little league and only one of you can win the following prize pack:

Graveyard BBQ – Greatest Hits Vol. II
Filter – Anthems For the Damned
Kataklysm – Prevail
Sepultura – The Best of Sepultura
Early Man – Closing In
The Sword – Gods Of The Earth

Yeah, I totally won that shit. They’ve already e-mailed me and said the loot is in the mail. The winning entry?

Conor: “Protest The Gyro”

I’m proud. Bite me.

I’ll certainly post again once it’s arrived, but in the mean time, click through and give these guys some hard-earned traffic.

MetalSucks ATE MY BALLS!!~!!!1!!
(click here)