Fuck hardcore.

I’ve listened to hardcore, deathcore, and post-hardcore bands. They’re OK, they have their thing. Not really my style, but I understand that diversity adds to the scene as a whole, and obviously they believe in what they’re doing. But their fans can all fucking die, every one of them.

At the Summer Slaughter show this week, there was one core-influenced band that brought out all the 14-year-olds from New Jersey in their basketball shorts and sideways caps, and those little tykes kept trying to hardcore dance at a technical and brutal death metal show. It wasn’t a good time for anyone.

Now please, tell me that looks anything but tragically ridiculous.

It got to the point where as soon as a kid would start to slamdance, a death metal fan would step in and punch him in the head. The freaking security guards were sick of the slamdancing! I saw one grab a hardcore kid by the collar and yell, “Mosh right!” and then throw him back in the pit. Everyone has their own style, but this is just about respect and social mores. I’d never go to a hardcore show and start death metal moshing with everyone there. If I did try, I’d expect hostility from the crowd.

The tension built up throughout the night, with hardcore kids repeatedly getting punched in the face. Because they’re from Jersey, they’re all about “representing,” and so they wanted to make a scene. Check out this awesome video of a pit evolving. At first it’s a pretty lame circle pit. The hardcore crowd is standing in the middle of it, representing. The circle pit dissolves around them and they begin to slamdance, fending off invisible ninjas. Then the death metal kids move in again and revive their type of moshing.

What absolutely fascinates me about that video is that the moshing style shifts with the music! Right before the hardcore kids start doing their thing, the band on stage (Cryptopsy, for those interested) launches into a very slam-like breakdown. The death metal fans come back when the faster riffing starts again, right before the guitar solo. Did they plan this?

To get that nasty taste of slamdancing out of your mouth, I present you with a wall of death. (They moneyshot is at 1:10, so hang in there.)

And for anyone wondering why I was in the upper level making videos instead of punching hardcore kids in the head, I’d just come up after watching Psycroptic, Born Of Osiris, and The Faceless. When Kataklysm came on, I went back down and murdered people.

They played “Like Angels Weeping (The Dark)” and “Blood On The Swans”! Goddamn it was a heavy set.

This past year has treated me well, sated my appetite for epic concerts—Rock im Park was especially unforgettable—but now I’m back in the States and I want more. Fortunately, Summer Slaughter has my back. Check out this lineup:

1. White Chapel
2. Psycroptic
3. Born Of Osiris
4. Aborted
5. Despised Icon
6. The Faceless
7. Cryptopsy
8. Vader
9. Kataklysm
10. The Black Dahlia Murder

That is some epic fucking technical death metal right there. Aborted? Those guys are so freaking brutal they make me want to break my own legs and then mosh anyway.

I’ve never heard of White Chapel before, and Vader aren’t my thing, but the rest of the bands are heroes for me. I’m curious to see how Born Of Osiris will handle their set, as their only album clocks in at like 30 minutes. Maybe they’ll play each song twice? Who knows.

What’s certain is that I’m going to headbang so much tomorrow that the Large Hadron Collider won’t have shit on me. Although I’ve heard we’re not supposed to be afraid of that thing anyway.

The day I bought this CD was epic. I didn’t even listen to it that night, I just pored over the album art and studied the packaging.

Story to tell

James Malone is the mastermind behind Arsis. He attended Berklee College of Music for a degree classical composition, specializing in violin performance. During his stay at Berklee, he met Michael VanDyne, “a drum performance major and rumored octopus.” (Sorry, that quote was too good not to link to.)

Previous entries in Arsis’s discography have always floored me because they were recorded by these two men. James handled the lyrics, vocals, guitars, bass (in most cases), and overall songwriting, and Michael hammered away on his kit.

The first album, A Celebration Of Guilt, was met with raving success absolutely everywhere. Ask your grandma, I bet even she’s heard of it by now. Here’s a snippet from what I consider to be the greatest review of anything, ever.

Arsis is amazing. This CD should be called ‘Celebration of AWESOME’.

[…]

Full of skull shattering drum parts and more guitar intricacies than you could ever think was possible, A Celebration of Guilt rises above the rest of most metal albums out there today. In the death metal market which is almost completely capitalized on by the northern Europeans, Arsis stands its ground not moving for anyone and bringing melodic death metal one huge step closer to the U.S.

The CD was so badass, a clique of freaks in New York City who like to perform ballet to heavy music, Ballet Deviare, contacted James and asked whether he’d compose a piece just for them. Which he did. I still don’t understand all of the title track “A Diamond For Disease,” but it’s one of my favorite pieces by the band.

After A Diamond For Disease, James and Michael went on to record United In Regret, a darker and more brooding album, although still furnished with a technical virtuosity that makes my eyes glaze over whenever I listen to it. In my opinion, this downshift in mood could only lead to a more furiously technical next album, but that change was facilitated by other factors, too.

The master’s apprentices

Sadly, Michael did not stay on with James to record the newest album, We Are The Nightmare. When Michael stated his decision to leave the band, James started looking for a replacement—as if any such beast has ever existed, or will ever exist. This led to the induction of several new members, so that Arsis at long last had a full lineup. The timing of the additions was such that the newcomers were able to contribute to the composition of the album, undeniably changing the chemistry of what constitutes Arsis.

The new bandmates are Noah Martin on bass, who served as a session player on United In Regret, Ryan Knight on guitar, and Darren Cesca on drums

Now, Noah seems like a great guy all around, and his playing on United In Regret was fantastic. Sadly, the new album has the bass buried deep in the mix, and his playing is all but inaudible, save for the smooth bass melody line that opens the disc.

Ryan has played with The Knife Trade, a rather uninspired metalcore act. I don’t believe his technical fury was at all utilized by that band, but recording with Arsis definitely allowed—or, with respect to Arsis’s past albums, forced—him to step up the fretwork many notches.

Then there’s Darren. Darren is also a grad of Berklee, majoring in drum performance, and already has a pretty impressive catalogue under his belt. Knowing his drumming only through this new album with Arsis, I cannot question his skill as a drummer. I do, however, take issue with his style. It’s a drastic departure from VanDyne’s drumming, and is for me the stain on We Are The Nightmare.

The empty throne

photo by williamhartz on flickr

Filling VanDyne’s shoes is impossible. While Cesca is a fantastically talented drummer, I don’t think his technique fits in well with the Arsis formula. Here’s why.

In metal, the drums should serve as the chassis of the machine, with all other instrumentation balustraded out from it. To use trite war imagery when describing metal, drums are the treads and the hulk of the tank, rhythm guitars are the main cannon, blasting away at the front, lead guitars the machine guns exploring the four dimensions around the tank, and bass is the sound of the engine grinding away, giving early tell of downshifts or turret rotation.

Drums are the mana in the casting of the spell. If your mana flow is sputtering or chunky, in any way inconsistent or irregular, then the spell will fizzle.

Take this example of VanDyne’s sense of thunder.

Now compare with Cesca’s stylings on the new CD.

Cesca’s performance is comparatively meek, reticent to pull out the stops. Now, this could be seen as crediting his confidence and skill. Perhaps Cesca believes he doesn’t need dish out blastbeats for several minutes at a time in order to prove himself; perhaps he’s trying to tone back the drums a bit in order to showcase the guitarwork.

In fact, it might be that Malone specifically requested that he chill the balls, in order to make the guitar intricacy the focus of this album. Maybe that was a bone of contention with VanDyne, that his drumming was almost as arresting as James’s riffing. To be sure, We Are The Nightmare definitely drops the ball on the rhythm riffing, in favor of pretentiously technical lead passages, and thus thunderous drum parts aren’t particularly well suited to the new songs.

Either way, losing the drum thunder was a mistake for the sound of Arsis. But why blame the drummer? The new guitarist’s technique gave Cesca little room to work with.

A new level: quo vadis?

We Are The Nightmare offers almost no churning rhythm riffs throughout the entire CD. Instead, lead riffs are strewn about the halls of the aural gallery, leaving the listener dizzied but never battered. (I have actually gotten nauesous while listening the counter rhythms in “A Diamond For Disease.” This is something even Meshuggah have never managed to pull off for me!) The change in riff styling should definitely be viewed as a progression, but I hope that Malone gets his sense of “heavy” back on Arsis’s next release. A combination of the two is what United In Regret strove to be, and in my opinion, that album came much closer to the vision.

Take a listen at how the calm composure in Malone’s riffing has gone completely out the window. From United In Regret:

This track, entitled “…And The Blind One Came,” was long my least favorite on the CD. After having let it digest for a long time, I now think that I disliked it because it was so damn good at what it did. That intro riff is perfectly ugly. I picture a carcass trying to dance, or being animated to dance. The song is sightless and horrifying. A sense of doom pervades the riff, in no small part due to VanDyne’s “maddening beat of vile drums.”

Now compare with the furiousness of this riff, obviously from the new album.

Technically impressive, to be sure, but perhaps a mite bit uninspired? Maybe because it’s a textbook example of the Necrophagist (technical death metal gods to this day) formula. Listen, and pay special attention not only to the flourishing leads that open each song, but also to the snare-heavy pedal tone riffing that follows. The songs differ only slightly in their third riffs (up until the chorus in the Arsis piece, with is anthemic and catchy in a way Necrophagist would never attempt).

C’mon, James, you can do better!

Epilogue/Metalogue

This review itself was pretentiously technical, which should at least partly discredit its scorn and criticism. I’ve spun the album only about 10 times so far, and am still within the first week of ownership. I’m certain that int he weeks to come, I’ll soften on it, and I’ll love it.

All in all, We Are The Nightmare is a solid album. The problem is, it’s not their old material. But I admit that’s more a problem in me as a fan than it is in them as songwriters.

I’ve already bought this CD twice, by the way, because I love this band so much.

My life is pretty freaking perfect. I make fantastic money at my sundry awesome jobs, which don’t even seem like work, they’re so fun, I drink the world’s greatest beer daily (and for free, at one of the jobs!), the women here are beyond gorgeous, I attend metal concerts regularly… one really, truly cannot ask for more.

But I do.

I miss my guitars very, very dearly. I do have an acoustic on loan from a friend here, but that’s only making me miss my sweethearts back in the States all the more. Recently I went digging through my video directory to try to see if there was any concert footage I could upload to YouTube and show some friends online. (Another story entirely, but I still haven’t been able to get the full version of “Treacherous Gods” at Paganfest up on YouTube. Worst 2.0 site ever.)

Anyway, while scaling the heights of the furthermost branches of that directory tree, I found some old videos of me playing guitar. This one I made two years ago, or almost. It was definitely August 2006, although I am not sure when in that month.

I absolutely love the riffs in this song. Heavy as hell, and no dicking around whatsoever. This CD was utter devastation. Make sure to check out the lyrics, too, as the whole CD was a concept album on the Iraq War, and has some real gem lines.

Try not to headbang yourself down to a lower IQ during the bridge. (”See who gives a FUCK!”)

And man, I have to say it: my guitar tone in this recording is fucking killer. I mean, it’s so heavy, it has its own goddamn event horizon. I am a Line6 fan for life.

One last thing to note: I remember so clearly that this was August 2006 because that’s the last time I cut my hair. You can’t really see my head in the video, but you also don’t see any long curly locks. I had a buzz cut.

Never again.

Life is grand. Sometimes I just can’t be unhappy, and last night was one of those evenings. Fortunately, I’m still basking in the afterglow of it.

Last night was Paganfest, easily the best metal festival I’ve ever attended (which, to be honest, isn’t saying very much, as the U.S. isn’t exactly big on festivals). It was a good time. As the venue website declares:

HEIDENFEST

* Nur fürs Paganfest: Met- Ausschank (Trinkhörner sind erlaubt)

[translation]

PAGANFEST

* Only for Paganfest: Mead bar (drinking horns allowed)

That’s got to be the greatest exception ever. Drinking horns were indeed allowed, and how. I was only of the only people there without one, and also without full pelt garb.

Step one: get into a sold-out show

I arrived late to the show, with my Finnish comrade, due to a minor mishap. Having heard from everyone multiple times that there was no way in hell we were getting in without tickets, as the festival had been sold out for weeks, we decided to give it a go anyway. First we tried the back entrance, and acted ignorant when asked for tickets. “Well, we thought the line out front was for people with them, so we figured we’d come back here to buy them. No? Go back out front? OK, no problem, man.” The whole time we were scoping out places to hop the fence, but security was quite heavy, especially around the easily hoppable sections of fencing.

Tuomas isn’t very confident with his German—although his English puts my German to shame—so I decided to do the talking with the security guard at the main gate. She said, “No. No way in hell, without a ticket. This has been sold out for weeks. Yes, I know you guys really want to see these bands, but my job is to make sure that no one without a ticket gets in. Sorry.”

Fortunately, I’m majoring in making friends. I talked with her for a little bit, and spun some bullshit like, “I know it’s completely out of the question for us to get in, but is there anyway we can at least just buy a T-shirt for the festival? We love these bands so much and we just want to be able to have something from the show, even if we don’t get to see them.” That definitely struck a chord of empathy with the guard, and I let it resonate for a bit before trying anything else. She said that maybe if we came back in an hour, there would be merch outside that we could pick up, possibly even at a discount. She recommended another club, with a beer garden, where we could go to kill time.

I of course said this was a wonderful idea, and thanked her profusely. Then Tuomas and I fell back a little bit and discussed our options. I translated my conversation with the guard (into English, not Finnish!) and also explained that I thought there was hope. We were already a little buzzed from the beers we’d had at my place before heading out, so we figured what the hell, let’s hang out and see what happens. Several minutes later, the same security guard comes up to me and says in a low voice, “Leave now. Come back in 10 minutes. Perhaps my colleague can help you.”

We booked it. I set an alarm on my phone for 8 minutes so that we’d be back in just the right amount of time, and Tuomas and I started talking about the bands playing. We were laughing that I hadn’t understood who was playing, because I’d always pronounced the bandname Týr as teer instead of the proper toorr. While joking around and taking stupid pictures of each other, the security guard came up to me again and said, “There, that’s my coworker. Talk to him. He’s on the phone now but when he’s off he’ll help you.”

We hovered so close to the guy we were practically hugging him. As soon as he snapped his cell phone shut, he looked us up and down, then gestured for us to follow him—quietly. We get in through the Guest List Only door, and he introduces us to a colleague of his, who wants money. She says, “That’ll be 28.” Not bad at all! I hand her 40. The guy says, “No, that won’t do. It has to be exact.” Well, shit. I didn’t know what to do about that, and I figured I was just about to get ripped off 12 bucks. Funny thing is, I didn’t really have a problem with this. But a suggestion is made that the woman break my bills, giving me a 20, a 10, and then another 10 in coins. Then I paid the 28 exactly. I still fail to see the point of this, but who the hell cares, because it got me in. Tuomas gets the same deal, we tip the nice man 5 bucks, and we’re on our way to forging through the crowd, trying to get near the stage.

Finding a place in the crowd

The people at this show were all-out diehard fans of folk metal, and it showed.

I think my favorite was this dude, whom I headbanged with throughout most of the show, until I was elected to crowdsurf and thrown over the front rail. (That was during Ensiferum, so I’d gotten a lot of pictures by that point, and it was OK by me. Plus, I loved those guys.)

While still standing near the back upon arriving, Tuomas treated me to a few beers as a thank-you for my rapport-building prowess. Again, as we’d arrived late, we’d already missed Equilibrium and Eluvietie (about whom I’ve heard great things), but we were able to catch Týr setting up, and their set in full force.

The bands

Týr

I love these guys. Their Ragnarok album blows me away every time I put it on, and it’s one of those epics discs that you have to listen to in its entirety, the whole way through, every time. The crowd dug them, hard.

Absolutely epic. I’ve also thrown up a video of the last part of Hail To The Hammer, in which the sound quality is even lower than above, but the crowd’s enthusiasm is even greater.

Moonsorrow

I’ve been dying to see these guys live. I haven’t listened to any Moonsorrow for years, and so as soon as they started playing, opening with Raunioilla (which Tuomas kindly informed me means “Upon The Ruins,” a freaking killer songtitle), I was taken back about 4 years, to the time I used to spin that CD every morning, walking to classes.

As is to be expected from these guys, they were only able to play about 3 or 4 songs during their 45-minute set, but that worked beautifully. Each song has such flowing dynamic contrast that they really worked the crowd, shifting from headbanging to clapping to singing and then back again.

Here’s a brief clip from Raunioilla, by far my favorite song of theirs. I say “brief” when it’s actually the first 3 minutes of a 13-minute song, so beware.

For the record, I freaking love bands who give a mic to everyone in the band. (Yes, even the drummer is wearing a headset.)

Korpiklaani

I was so not ready for these guys. I’ve called them “fratboy folk” before, because pretty much every one of their songs is about drinking, rather than fighting, but I’d failed to realize what this was going to mean to a crowd in Munich. Singing about beer is without a doubt the best way to win the hearts of a crowd in this city, and Korpiklaani wielded the crowd like the gods they are.

To get a good idea of their sound, check out this quip from their Wiki page.

The music of Korpiklaani ranges from the violin-and-guitar paean to the Finnish god of fermentation Pellonpekko, to the “typical” trollish metal “Wooden Pints”, to “Crows Bring The Spring”.

Yeah, that’s about right. Dancing galore. Wannabe vikings, arm-in-arm, spinning round and round and shouting at the top of their lungs things like, “Beer, beer! Beer, beer!”

And, of course, they’re not afraid to get down and folky. I wasn’t expecting it, but the bastards went ahead and did a live rendition of Shaman Drum, of which I only caught the end on camera.

It was far more haunting live than it seems here. As I was making the video, I wanted to make sure to cut off the explosion of cheers from the crowd as the song ended, which I thought it would make for better resonance on video, but I was completely wrong. The crowd reaction would only add to the experience. Ah, well.

Ensiferum

I finally, finally got to see Ensiferum live. It’s a damn shame Jari Mäenpää wasn’t with them, but the dude from Norther did a pretty damn good job on vocals. The opened, of course, with Iron, and the crowd went nuts. Unfortunately for Ensiferum, Korpiklaani had absolutely drained the audience with all the dancing, so the first few Ensiferum songs were met with relatively tame enthusiasm. Still, Ensiferum cleaned up.

My sole complaint regarding the new vocalist was that during the solo for Iron, he didn’t play the original. He referenced it in his sweeps, but he brought in too much of his own technique. I’m still torn as to whether this was a shameless appropriation of a classic song by a newcomer who can’t fill Jari’s shoes, or a reverant reticence to mar a beautiful, untouchable thing with his own playing. In my opinion, it’s more appropriate to lay insufficient offerings at the altar of a metal god than to build a new altar, which it seemed to me like he was doing.

This was partly made up for, though, by one of my favorite moments from the whole night, when Ensiferum fulfilled their duty as headliners and played part of a classic metal song. Being from the North, it would have been completely inappropriate to toss yet another tribute onto Dimebag Darrell’s burial mound. I’m glad they didn’t. They went the extra mile and played the main riff from the father of all battle metal songs, The Trooper.

While the band did play a stellar setlist, they left off Treacherous Gods, which thrilled me—because they did it as an encore. I made a video of the whole song, but it’s pretty poor quality, so I won’t embed it. I’ll see how it turns out upon YouTubeification, and might throw up a link to it later after it’s finished processing.

Probably the highlight of their set was the crowd singing along to the bridge of “Lai Lai Hei,” but sadly I don’t have video of it. Take my word for it, though: it was awesome.

The land of hope and glory

I know this was a disastrously protracted post, but I couldn’t help but gush about this show. I encourage you to listen to all the bands’ material at length, as everyone who played (well, I can’t vouch for Equilibrium) offers absolutely stellar folk metal.

Stay folk.

I spent last night polkaing and headbanging my blackened little heart out to accordions, violins, and distorted guitars. A friend stopped by this morning to check on me, and I think I’ll be spending this afternoon in the park before going to work this evening.

Give me some time to recuperate from all the awesome, and I’ll throw up a lengthy post, replete with fawning and photos.

Until then, fuck kvlt, stay folk.

My sister studies some weird science crap in graduate school and apparently this is how she studies for it. I am not shitting you: apparently her professor showed this to her class.

Apparently at $40,000 a year, they can’t afford to make their own teaching aides. Then again, it doesn’t seem like they need to. I feel like I just earned a degree, watching this thing.

Pretty much my favorite band on any planet or in any dimension is Arsis. I’ll spare you the meticulous details of my obsession with the band (by saving them for a later post), but just take my word for the fact that they kick lots and lots of ass.

Their new album, which I’ve been psyched about for a long time, is now officially out, and I can’t find it anywhere. I don’t have a credit card in Germany, so I’m going to bum one from a friend tonight and order the CD right from the label. Fortunately enough, Arsis just got signed to the biggest and best label in the metal world, Nuclear Blast, which is based in Germany. Plus, if I pay $5 extra on the CD, I get an Arsis t-shirt. Yes, please.

In celebration of the album’s release, the band (or their label, I don’t care whom you credit for it) have posted the video for the title track from the album. The video is third-rate and the song is second-rate, and yet I’m still tossing my popcorn around in excitement.

I of course have a few initial reactions to the song played in the video (please keep in mind I’ve done everything in my power to avoid hearing leaked tracks from this album, because I want the store-bought version to be my first experience of it), and while I know that I should wait to hear the album in its entirety before judging, especially harshly, here are some off the cuff gripes.

• This sounds more like a blending of the styles of many musicians than the work of one man. I mean this in a bad way.
• The solos are wankier than I’ve come to expect from Arsis, and it sounds like there are two solos, one right after the other. This technique should only be used when the guitarist playing the second solo has something to build upon, or can somehow complement what the first guitarist just got done expressing. In this case, the second guitarist, whoever the hell it was, just shambled after, copping the tapping runs and overplaying the bends, because that’s what you do when you don’t have anything to say musically in a metal band (although the argument could be made that the same is true in blues and country).
• The drumming is thoroughly uninspired. The drummer doesn’t even give us a decent blastbeat throughout the entire piece, which I guess is acceptable given that this song is supposed to have an anthemic “ballad” feel. Still, the syncopated metalcore-influenced staccato hits don’t fight the rhythm of the guitars enough, and so are boring. This drummer has a lot to live up to in the Arsis pantheon, and this song was not a nice debut in my opinion.
• I do think the that the line “We are the nightmare, we are the chosen silence” is pretty spiffy, given the band’s name, but then, I’ve never had reason to complain about James in any respect. All the gripes here have to do with less James and more of these other buffoons. (Yes, “buffoons.)

That’s about it for now. I’ll order the CD tonight, remain sleepless for days on end until it arrives, then listen to it many times in a row and write a several-page-long blog post about it.

At least you know it’s coming.

]]> http://www.conorschaefer.com/blog/index.php/2008/04/17/dont-you-let-me-down-arsis/feed/ http://www.conorschaefer.com/blog/index.php/2008/04/09/black-metal-isnt-even-worth-hating/ http://www.conorschaefer.com/blog/index.php/2008/04/09/black-metal-isnt-even-worth-hating/#comments Wed, 09 Apr 2008 12:57:52 +0000 Conor http://www.conorschaefer.com/blog/index.php/2008/04/09/black-metal-isnt-even-worth-hating/

As MetalSucks quips,

For all its uber-seriousness, you can’t help but laugh at the ridiculousness of black metal.

There truly is nothing in the world more absurd, sad, and awesome to me than black metal. I often impersonate a black metal enthusiast during daily activities, just because it makes my life seem way more intense. These two chaps understand that philosophy, and decided to make a video of black metal cookie baking.

That was pretty extreme. While the video was poorly edited (which is funny, because it’s ragging on low-production-value black metal), the final scene of the two guys running into the woods in their backyard, poorly concealed by either a fog machine or an out of control barbecue grill, made up for it.

After trolling around YouTube (ha ha, get it? black metal is about trolls!), I found some absolutely killer parodies of black metal music videos. Then I looked up the originals and realized it would be funnier to just show those. Enjoy.

Trollech - Ve stinu starych dub (view parody video here)

Immortal - Blashyrkh (view parody video here)

I want to cry and laugh at the same time.

I wanted to start this post with my usual disclaimer about how I’m not a total asshole and sometimes other people are wrong right (Freudian slip), but that’s just a waste of time and my heart wasn’t in it. So read on to hear what I have to say about this pseudo-intellectual douchebaggery.

The New Yorker recently put up an article about some Al Qaeda hippie and made sure to draw some bizarre connections to death metal.

Death metal is a severe offshoot of heavy metal, a reaction to the superficiality of eighties popular culture. In the early nineties, bands that played death metal considered themselves part of an élite vanguard. They tuned their guitars in unconventional ways, and some, influenced by classical musicians, composed songs that required high degrees of discipline and technical virtuosity to play. Onstage, artists often wore sweatpants to demonstrate their athleticism and lack of pretense; the genre’s signature vocal style is a heavy growling chant. (“We like it when it’s simply rotten,” one musician told me.) It is a subculture in love with its offensiveness, and obsessive about guarding its artistic purity.

In case you missed it, I’m going to repeat that little gem.

Onstage, artists often wore sweatpants to demonstrate their athleticism and lack of pretense;

I know a fucking lot about death metal, and more than a bit about sweatpants, so maybe I’ll just come off as sounding like part of some “elite vanguard” when I say this, but that passage is a crock of shit and the author has to know it. Here I cite a legendary Facebook thread, in which some guy named Scött [sic] muses:

Florida Death metal is for fat guys who wear black sweatpants, eat Cheetos by the truckload, and get their hair caught in their guitars’ tuning pegs.

Amen, brother. I love Cannibal Corpse and Hate Eternal as much as the next headbanger wasted on too much cheap beer, but the scene is unfortunately fraught with, well, fat white guys in sweatpants and knotty hair.

The author of the New Yorker article doesn’t understand death metal, and I’m fine with that. But why lie so poorly that even the uninitiated can spot your idiocy? I’m as much an armchair anthropologist as my whole lazy wannabe-Web-3.0 generation, but even I find this lack of effort appalling.

By the way, as of today, Google reports 0 results for “Florida sweatpants metal” and only 7 for “sweatpants metal.” I’m proud to be contributing to this great cesspool called the internet.

(via Metal Inquisition)

Update: A recent post on Invisible Oranges references the sweatpants metal meme without an ounce of respect.

There was definitely a jeans era (thrash) and, to some extent, a sweatpants one (death metal).

The post itself is a moderately interesting look at the use of camouflage attire in metal getups.

This winter I’ve been listening to a lot of progressive and doom metal bands, and progressive doom metal bands whenever the opportunity arises. Rather recently I’ve been spinning a disc called The Blue by Novembre quite often.

In particular, there’s one track that has made this entire album and certainly the band completely unforgettable for me. It’s called “Bluecracy” and is obviously within the scope of the concept of this album. Listen to the intro of this song.

I…
Can’t say where you are
Can’t see where you are
Can’t stay in the sun

That vocal melody absolutely haunts me. I can’t shake it. Listening to just the clip of it is now actually rather underwhelming, but this song is burned into my brain. I’ve been listening to it quite often.

And then there’s the solo, just a repeating passage of rippling arpeggios that culminates in a tapping frenzy.

This song has me hypnotized every time I listen to it. It’ll come on and I’ll have to stop whatever I’m doing just to admire it.

I’m going to go space out a little more now that my app is finished.

So I use this script to retrieve album art from the internet, mainly places like Amazon and stuff, in case anything is missing from my collection. It all happens automatically once you configure the script.

Here’s an image of what I think is it fucking up. But given that the band is power metal, it might just be an amazingly capable script. I haven’t decided yet.

Kind of seems like a cruel joke. A cruel, adorable joke.

I found this gem today looking for a video of someone playing a song I was trying to figure on guitar. I didn’t get quite what I wanted, but my efforts were rewarded by the video Kalmah cover (Heroes to Us) with cat. Behold.

You have to stick around until about 1:25 for the cat to come back, but it then stays for the remainder of the video. How freaking cool is that?

And the guy posts it to YouTube, appending “with cat” to the title, instead of doing another take. Gold.

I know what you’re thinking: I’m already a dick. But the thing is, if I were Kerry King, I’d be even more unbearable, as I think this video testifies.

This is an interview by some little whippersnapper who gets absolutely torn apart by King. He burns the kid for using his “The Reaper” pseudonym in the interview, and I’m sure it stung, even though King doesn’t know the difference between a sickle and a scythe.

Some of my favorite moments:

If you’re the fucking reaper, you gotta have a goddamn sickle with you all the time.

I’m gonna be generous and say 70% of the shit people give me sucks. But I will give it the two song minimum, you know? I’ll give it two songs, if it sucks, it’s out the window. You know? You’ll probably find CDs all over Southern California from me throwing them out the fucking window.

[on Guitar Hero] I did “Raining Blood” on medium, but once that fifth button comes into play, I’m fucked.

I don’t get Lamb Of God. […] Just, I don’t understand. I don’t get it. I watch those guys, and I just—it seems like—not Randy—but it looks like the band’s at rehearsal.

Man, he burned the hell out of some people. In particular, the interviewer is sore, but I’m sure the guitarists in Lamb Of God didn’t appreciate that comment. I’ve seen LoG live two or three times now, and they have no live show whatsoever, which is a shame, because some of their riffs are killer.

Cheers to being a jerk!

Can’t help but post this. I found it in an old browser tab I’d left open to remind myself of the article. It’s about Dave Mustaine, lead guitarist and singer of Megadeth, who recently organized a massive toy donation to help out the families who lost their homes in the California wildfires.

Toy deliveries also were made to the chamber of commerce in nearby Fallbrook, California, and to North Coast Church, a Fallbrook church the Mustaine family attends, said Bob Leonard, chief executive officer of the chamber of commerce.

“He’s this interesting paradox, with a family who regularly attends church, but he’s still involved in that kind of music,” said Leonard.

I’m sorry, but that’s just hilarious. This guy was clearly freaked out by Mustaine’s utterly tame demeanor. Megadeth’s music has never been offensive lyrically, unless, I suppose, you find songs about mortgage interest rates offensive. Which Leonard very well might, as the head of a chamber of commerce.

Oh, well. I’m gonna go listen to more of my crazy hate music and punch stuff while making flash cards for Chinese.

—————-
Now playing: Deicide - Lunatic Of God’s Creation
via FoxyTunes

I should know. Metalheads are just pricks through and through, and there’s no reason anyone would ever want to hang out with one. I just hate them so much. Look at this loser, for example.

Not only does the kid show himself to be an utter toolbag and a poser by flipping off the camera, he then proceeds to play a solo on his way-too-expensive guitar, which I know he didn’t buy himself, while his mom walks by in the background carrying his laundry. Sigh. Why can’t he be more like the guy in this next vid, who just oozes panache as he smokes a more technically impressive solo and then simply shuts off the camera?

In all actuality, I find that most metalheads are like the latter examples in this post, but it can be quite fun to indulge in negative stereotypes from time to time. Here’s a drummer playing the entire song “An Autopy” by The Faceless, the same song the kid in the first video lifted the solo from. I should note that the video is tagged with “fastest kid 5th grade,” which kind of scares the hell out of me, seeing as the dude has a beard. But I guess maybe he was held back because he wasn’t doing his chemistry homework for some reason.

One more. Here’s a vid of a guy blowing through “An Autopsy” on guitar and having some real fun while doing it. He’s not serious about it, though he obviously loves it, and jokes around by poorly pantomiming the keyboard fills.

Here’s to classy metalheads.

I don’t know quite what gets people interested in metal (nobody does), but I can understand that growing up amid turbulent political strife and the thunder of warfare might give a little added incentive to headbang. This is precisely the case with Acrassicauda, a heavy metal act which originated in Iraq in 2001, but is now based in Istanbul, due to the war.

This video was posted yesterday by Al Jazeera English, which should further improve the band’s already rather high profile. If the hit counter on the band’s homepage is to be believed, they’ve already had over 70 million hits in just two years. Pretty impressive.Indeed, the band commands a remarkable internet presence, with Wikipedia entries in English, Polish, and German (no surprise there), an entry in the Encyclopaedia Metallum, a Last.fm artist page, and a peppering of of articles by major news outlets, such as NPR and BBC. There are even several articles in the WSJ about the band, which I can’t provide here given their stupid subscription model, but one of them was fortunately covered by Blabbermouth and quoted at length.

“When ACRASSICAUDA ripped into a furious version of METALLICA’s ‘For Whom the Bell Tolls’ at a recent concert, dozens of fans rushed the stage, jerked their heads to the music and slam-danced.

“Midway through the set, a portly club official took the stage and ordered the crowd to sit down. The band ignored him and kept playing, and around 50 of the roughly 200 fans remained standing. The official ended the concert and angrily escorted the band off the stage. Faisal Talal, the band’s singer and rhythm guitarist, shouted a string of profanities, drawing cheers from the crowd.

“It was a classic moment of rock ‘n’ roll rebellion, but such gestures come at a high price in Iraq. The venues that ACRASSICAUDA — which may be Iraq’s only heavy-metal band — played before the war are now government compounds or off-limits because of street crime. The staid Iraqi Hunting Club, which hosted the aborted concert, says the band won’t be allowed back. The group hasn’t found a new venue.

“‘It’s never been harder for us to play our music, but there’s also never been so much of a need for it,’ says Mr. Talal, 21 years old. ‘There’s a lot to be angry about these days, and we want to give people a way to get that out.’”

Now, what’s very unfortunate is that the documentary mentioned in the Al Jazeera English video above is absolutely unattainable. Pretty sure it does in fact exist, seeing as its site claims it earned “official selection” at the Toronto International Film Festival this year. I guess this fame resulted in a lower visibility for the movie, seeing as this Blabbermouth article links to the video on an online distribution channel, VBS.tv, and the link now just shows the VBS.tv’s main page. This curious removal of content was brought up in the VBS.tv forums, only to have the thread locked. To top it off, the YouTube video link in the article also says the clip has been removed.

The trailer for the film, of course, is sprinkled all over the internet.

The movie’s page over at IMDB doesn’t offer much information, but does credit “VBS.TV” as the company behind the work. The single review written of the movie is by someone who claims to have actually attended the Toronto International Film Festival.I wish the band a solid discography and healthy tour cycle. I hope they don’t have to stay away from their families for too long.

Digg the Al Jazeera video or check out the band’s MySpace.

I love bonus tracks. Seriously, they’re great. And the freaking Japanese get them all. But living in Europe, it means I have access to at least some bonus track-equipped CDs, although they’re rarely the same as what Japan sees. (If that doesn’t encourage online file-sharing, I don’t know what does.) Check out this gem I found recently at an electronics store.

I want to rebuy this CD so hard, just for those sweet, sweet bonus tracks. Bastards! I recently rebought Death Cult Armageddon, because I was planning to see Dimmu in concert, and I was sick of the 192Kbps rip of the album I’ve had since it was released. I try not to rebuy too many CDs, but sometimes you just gotta bite the bullet and love the band until you die.

Mors Principium Est - The Lust Called Knowledge

In the sky the angels’ defeat
In the clouds the winds so grey…

Now that’s a solo. It’s by far the sloppiest solo I’ve ever heard out of a Finnish band, so much so that it almost sounds amateur, but that adds to the passion of it, I think. But the runs are slick and the tapping is top-notch, layered to all hell. And to hear it remixed! Damn that sounds attractive.

Editing for that clip made me realize I’m still using the abysmal 192Kbps rip I’ve had since 2003 for this album, too. What a disgrace. I guess I’ll be rebuying it when the new stipend come through.

This is pretty freaking incredible news.

Vocalist MATT BARLOW Rejoins ICED EARTH

I giggled with joy when I read this. Barlow is a metal legend, who left Iced Earth after 9/11, because he felt that at such a crucial time in American history, he should be doing some greater good than singing in a metal band. As if there is a greater good! I remember reading the news of his leaving on the band’s official website. (The website has since been revamped many times, and the original posting is no longer there, but you can read it verbatim here.) Jon Schaffer, guitarist and songwriter, explained the dreadful situation:

Matt called me a few weeks before we started pre-production and said that he wanted to quit the band and pursue a career doing administrative work for the Department of Homeland Security.

[…]

In hindsight I should not have pressured him into staying but there was no way I could have predicted what would happen, Matt had already quit in his heart, yet out of loyalty he was willing to give it a shot. The recording of the vocals did not go smoothly. It was obvious to Jim Morris (producer) and me that something was very wrong. However, we pushed forward and Jim felt that we may have to change the way we mixed the vocals but that we’d basically be ok.

[…]

Here’s the not so glorious burden of being the guy who makes tough decisions: I decided to stop production and shelve the album until I find a new singer. Matt’s heart was not in it and it showed in his performance. I’m sure that’s hard for some of you to believe but it’s simply a fact. There are a lot of things you can do with today’s technology to make a singer sound better but you can’t add feeling with a computer.

I still hadn’t gotten over this loss when saw Iced Earth this fall. Sure, Jon Schaffer was there, but he was looking old, and Tim “Ripper” Owens added too much flair to the understated, darkly passionate vocal stylings of Barlow.

Here, take a look at what I’m taking about. The first video is from the newest CD, made during the Owens era. Then watch the second clip, a live version of Barlow doing “Melancholy (Holy Martyr).” There’s no comparison. Keep in mind that the Owens one is the studio track, and he still can’t deliver anything like what Barlow does live.

Iced Earth - “10,000 Strong” music video

Iced Earth - “Melancholy (Holy Martyr)” live from the Alive In Athens DVD

No longer must we endure this sacrilege. Schaffer promises a return to the grandeur of what made Iced Earth the ultimate power metal band.

Matt will be singing on Part 2 of the Something Wicked concept CD and we will be looking forward to getting out on tour and delivering a series of Iced Earth shows that will rival any in the history of the band. And there will be a proper DVD filmed from this period, something we’ve all been waiting for.

And he even goes so far as to credit the fans.

While out on the European tour I had several in depth discussions with many loyal Iced Earth fans. A common theme of these discussions was how much Matt is missed. I agreed with the fans that things were not the same and that it was a very special period in Iced Earth’s history.

[…]

I want you all to know that it was you who made this a reality. I have missed Matt’s presence onstage and in my personal life in a big way over the past few years, so I appreciate your honesty in our discussions.

I know that during the show I was at, a chant of “BAR-LOW! BAR-LOW!” broke out, which I can only imagine made Owens feel like a real tool.

Cheers to a new age. And cheers also to Will, for his RSS vigilance.

Working on my project tonight, I found out what a wonderful idea it is to read code while listening to death metal. I’ve heard that a lot of programmers listen to techno while coding, but that could just be a lie with which the Wachowski Brothers inculcated me. I’ve certainly noticed, however, that a lot of programmers listen to metal, and that got me curious about the music listening habits of programmers.

Cue the Google.

Wait, scratch that. I don’t need Google yet. I know that on Last.fm there’s a group called Programmers - Anyone who writes code. In checking out the group’s Top Artists section, I was fascinated to see how well metal bands were represented. OK, it’s radio-friendly metal like Metallica and Tool and System Of A Down, but nonetheless it’s much heavier than the average taste.

Now, Google. I didn’t find anything about how programmers love techno or metal, but I did find an interesting article on a query for programmers metalheads about how metalheads are smart. Or how smart people like metal. One or the other, I’m sure of it.

Intelligent teenagers often listen to heavy metal music to cope with the pressures associated with being talented, according to research.

[…]

Researchers found that, far from being a sign of delinquency and poor academic ability, many adolescent “metalheads” are extremely bright and often use the music to help them deal with the stresses and strains of being gifted social outsiders.

Well I’ll be damned.

What can I say, sleep’s on my mind at the moment. You know, there are some really beautiful songs I know that are about sleep.

This first one isn’t specifically about sleep, but the imagery is dream-like, and still gives me pause whenever I hear it.

Agalloch - In The Shadow Of Our Pale Companion

Here at the edge of this world
Here I gaze at a pantheon of oak, a citadel of stone
If this grand panorama before me is what you call God…
Then God is not dead

Insomnium - At The Gates Of Sleep

Listen to the night, hearken to the silence
The wind sings in fir trees, forest’s music rings
Rueful is the tune, wailful the soughing
Soothing is the choir, murmur of the trees

Wintersun - Sleeping Stars

My eyes feel so heavy when the stars are calling me:
“Join with us eternally!”
I’m falling in deep trance and my powers are weakening
I’m falling in a world between dreams and reality

And my all-time favorite, the very reason why I cherish old In Flames in a part of my heart I fear no one will ever plunder:

In Flames - Lord Hypnos

So, find me in these grandiose halls
Where long ago summers eternally fall
And tune the strings of truthful longing
To the frozen music of gods

So overbearingly Lovecraftian, so evocative of a lucidity of dreams never actually experienced. It makes me want to dream of dreams.

I rarely remember my dreams upon waking.

Was scoping out my Last.fm page this afternoon, and noticed in my events sidebar that there was a show at Backstage tonight.

And of course I’m flat broke, so I won’t be going. I’m rather pleased, though, as I have been to a ton of concerts already this fall, so missing this one doesn’t burn too much.

Not so bad. I have a quiet weekend, so I’ll go back to reading and studying like a proper, non-metalhead student.

I’m gonna freaking crank the Six Feet Under and Nile tonight, though.

Dark Tranquillity posted on their website that their middle-era discs will be reissued in Japan, with bonus tracks. (Sorry I can’t link more directly, but the DT site doesn’t offer links to individual updates. Stupid.)

“Projector” and “Haven” to be re-released in Japan - Nov 30, 2007

To coincide with our shows in the land of the rising sun, “Haven” and “Projector” will be released in new versions. Both albums will feature lengthy liner notes by sensei Stanne detailing the writing and recording process as well as the inner working of the band at the time of creating the songs.

“Projector” will feature the extra track “Exposure” - previously unreleased in Japan - and “Haven” will be graced with “Cornered” as bonus song.

Everybody knows that Japan always kicks ass on the bonus tracks. I remember ordering the second disc from Finnish legends Mors Principium Est from Amazon on the day it was released. It took weeks to get to me because it had to be imported from Japan, which was good, because it meant I got two bonus tracks (which I would have downloaded later anyway, but still). In fact, if you do a Google Image Search for “mors principium est unborn,” you’ll get images of the Japanese version on the first page of results. Crazy!

Also learned from the DT site that they’ve been nominated for a Swedish music award.

We’re nominated for The Bandit Rock Awards 2008 in the Swedish “best group” and “best album” categories. If you can agree that we deserve to win (which you obviously do since you have the good taste of visiting this page), please go to the link below and cast your vote. Thanks in advance!

www.bandit.se/rockawards/voting.php

Click and make it happen. Give some love to Sonic Syndicate, too.

Last point: I freaking love this image on the DT homepage. It’s the same as on the t-shirts from their newest tour, which of course I picked up when I saw them, taken from lyrics from the best track off their newest, Terminus (Where Death Is Most Alive).

This video made me unbelievably happy. Metalocalypse is probably the only thing broadcast on television that I give a damn about, so if you don’t know it, grab a torrent fast. I haven’t seen anything from the second season, but I hear it sucks. I must find out. And Skwisgaar is freaking adorable.

Last night, hanging out with Jukka and a handful of Americans, we spent a lot of time on YouTube, as drunk college kids are ever wont to do. After exhausting our store of favorite comedians, Jukka said we needed some tunes, and proceeded to wow us. He pulled a video out of the nether regions of the 20th century, by which I mean the 1970s, and I was duly stunned.

The part that bothers me is the lack of phenomenal drumming that is recorded in the studio version, usually drummers will take this opportunity to showcase their drumming abilities, pierre.. is still good but doesn’t even come close to the original recording!

I’ll agree that the drumming could be better, but compare with this utterly lame drum solo by the extremely technically proficient Marco Minnemann of Necrophagist.

But seriously, the Winter Madness solo is god.